Procrastination

Today Big Bear (a.k.a. Dave) is going to court in Orlando. He was looking so sexy in his suit. Yummy! I rarely see him outside of anything but scrubs or running short and this T-shirt he got when he visited Cambodia. I wonder why he likes it so much. He lost his virginity to a Cambodian girl when he was 17. Maybe that's why... Anyway, He is currently in a Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Before I met him, he was worth five million. He invested a lot of that in building subdivisions in central Florida. Then the real estate market went under along with everything else during the recession. Fortunately, he's main income is from the hospital so we are still able to live comfortably. When he first told me that he is bankrupt, I didn't really know what a bankruptcy entailed. It just means his credit is ruined and he has to pay them $3k/month over the next five years or something like that. It kinda sucks that he isn't a millionaire anymore but at least he makes over half a million a year from his day job. We thoroughly go over his finances every month because he has to make a budget report for the bankruptcy people. He spends every dollar he makes ($40k/month after taxes). We tried to come up with ways we could cut costs so he could start saving for other things like a new house, car, our wedding, retirement, etc. but we couldn't. That blows my mind. Before I moved in with him, I made $2,500/month and that covered all my bills (car payment, rent, utilities, food). If I wanted anything special, it was gifted to me from some guy that I was dating at the time. Dave always says that he doesn't know how people who make under $50k a year live. A lot of his spending is unnecessary to me, like the $6k/month alimony to his ex-wife. We spend an average of $5k/month on travel. I guess that could be saved. He spends at least $1,500 on maintaining his pets; six dogs, five cats, nine puppies, four chickens, nine ducks, five geese, three guinea pigs, a swan and a goat. I guess we could downsize and eat at home more often. Sigh, at least we still have each other. I can't believe we've only been together seven months now and we're already engaged, living together, planning a life together, even after everything that happened. It's surreal.

He completes me. I don't think I could live without him. On the other hand, I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I didn't say yes. I was only a sugar baby for a few months before I settled and honestly, I was having a blast! Five star hotels, flying to a different place every three days, not having his three screaming kids constantly asking me questions, having time to myself, going out with my friends. I wonder if I will regret my decision five years from now as I pass my prime and miss out on opportunities to have fun and be single. No one believes that we will make it, "there's too much of an age difference," "what you think you want now will change when you're 25 just like how they've changed since you were 15," "you will lose patience after dealing with his baggage," etc. We had an episode last week when we went to a strip club and ran into this dancer that he used to bump uglies with. Ugh, gross! Strippers are only supposed to be for looking at! I was mad at him for days. His ex-wife is constantly texting him nonsense. It doesn't help that sugar daddies from my past still contact me too. It won't surprise me if one of these days, we're going to fight and in a moment of weakness I will surrender to the temptation of the sugar baby life again. I truly hope that love will conquer all. I've talked to him about how I feel about his correspondence with his ex so we'll see what happens.

In other news, my Kat von D True Romance Shadow Palette in Ludwig broke. I was hovering it above my sink and it slipped off my hand. Advice for anyone who is considering buying this: too fragile, so keep it stationary. Make up critics should start testing durability for us readers too.



I needed a red lipstick so I went to Nordstrom and picked up one by YSL in Rouge and a YSL lipliner pencil in #1. It smells like cherries and it goes on smooth and glossy. The cap has a small mirror on it. I only used 2 layers in the picture. The lighting makes it look pinkish but it's definitely red.




I changed shampoos. I used to use Biolage Bodifying Shampoo but I don't really dig the smell. I bought Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Shampoo from CVS. I love the minty smell and it makes my scalp tingle and my hair shiny.



One of the benefits of being with a doctor is, you get prescription cosmetics on demand. Big Bear's best friend from med school is an opthalmologist and he highly discourages using Latisse. However, I have skimpy eye lashes so after some weeks of convincing, Big Bear prescribed it to me. I started using it three days ago. They say it takes weeks to see results so I'm going to document my lashes every week. This week the corners of my eyes have been slightly red, a common side effect of Latisse. Hopefully, it's just allergies and it will go away in a week. If it continues for a month, I'm going to stop using it.




Once I go to Atlanta and buy a bunch of MAC make up, I can toss all the cheap stuff out like my drugstore make up and that Kat von D palette that broke after being dropped less than six inches into the sink. Pft. Anyway, I need to stop blogging and start studying for finals.