Alana, you have my heart.

This weekend turned out to be a blast! On the way to Tampa, Dave and I made fun of Jason the whole time. He's currently dating this unattractive billionaire named Michelle. Her father invented the hip replacement. They've been dating for six months and still haven't had sex. On their first date, she flew him in her private jet to the Bahamas for lunch. He's disgusted by her looks but he doesn't want to pass up the opportunity to marry her. Anyway, we got to 2001 Odyssey around 7:30 and there were only three other patrons in the club. We all got a Coke since they didn't serve alcohol. What I love about this club is it's smoke free so when I left, I didn't smell like an ash tray. The first dancer we see is a long-curly-haired blonde with tan, toned legs, tattoos on her bikini line and a tramp stamp, blue eyes with cat eyeliner, natural breasts and a Hollywood wax. She resembled a white Shakira or Debi Nova (I posted a Debi Nova video below). Dave puts $3 on the table and she comes over. He tells her this visit is for me. I smile. She smiles, leans over and kisses my neck. My hands shake as I fold $2 dollars over her g-string. Dave holds a dollar up and asks for her name.

Stripper: I'm Alana.
Dave: How does it work here?
Stripper: $25/dance, $200 for the private room + tip
Dave: Come see us when you're done.

Once she finished her song on stage, she escorted us to the spaceship room on the third floor. We pay the lady at the desk $200 and sit. Her skin was super soft and smelt like coconut and lavender. We touched each other everywhere and kissed a few times as Dave watched. I wasn't wearing a bra so she felt me up. She was excited that my boobs were like hers. Her lips were full and soft like clouds. She said she was looking for a girlfriend. She liked my "exotic" look. "Too bad you're taken, I get off at 1" she says with a smile. After 30 minutes, we tip her $50 and go back downstairs and watch a few more girls dance. As we're about to leave for dinner, she gives me her number.

Bern's Steak House was amazing. I had the 1.5" filet mignon with a baked potato with only butter. It came with a caesar salad and french onion soup. Since it was Friday night, the place was packed and dinner ended up taking two and half hours. At dinner, we planned to get a hotel at the W but when we finished eating, we were so tired, we decided to just go home. Alana was exciting but like I said, I don't want to have to pay someone for my first experience with a girl. We will probably come back to Tampa in a month or two to visit Mons Venus since we didn't get the chance to.

The next day, Dave and I spent most of the day laying by the pool sipping pina coladas. We left around 4pm and sold another puppy to some 20 year old girl. I really hope she knows to keep the puppy away from her baby, especially when she starts to grow bigger than the infant. That's a disaster waiting to happen. We bathed the puppy and packed a small bag of food.



Afterwards, we went to a strip club in Melbourne called Bare Assets. Totally lame. I got a dance from two girls; Ruby, a petite curvy short-haired platinum blonde and Sophie, a freakishly tall but gorgeous brunette with everything pierced. Ruby didn't make a lot of contact when she danced. She said she's been working there three years but her moves didn't show that. She had fake boobs. It's the first time I've ever felt fake boobs and they were HARD. Sophie was an amazing lapdancer and she had the perfect body with small but natural boobs. She had her nipples pierced ...ouch. After three beers we decided to leave and get some Cuban food. Dave and I both ordered ropa vieja with yellow rice, black beans and sweet plantinos. It was really tasty, especially with habanero sauce. We stopped by FairVilla Megastore and bought $500 worth of kinky leather accessories, mesh lingerie, crotchless lace panties, girl-on-girl blu-rays, a french tickler whip, a Little Red Riding Hood costume and other random things that I can't remember. I also bought two brazilian bikinis in white and hot pink.

It was a fun-packed weekend. Now that I'm finished with this blog, reality has set in and I have to start packing for my trip to Atlanta. My flight leaves in a few hours. I have a bunch of school work I have to do before midnight that I put off during my Florida strip club spree. Dave gave me $1,500 to spend in Atlanta so I'm going to have to budget when it comes to shopping this week. I'll probably end up giving most of it to my mom since she got laid off and is tight on money right now. I can't wait to see my family and friends!